- Ahoy:
- The first in a series of four-letter words commonly exchanged by skippers on close approach to one another.
- AIS:
- An electronic system for showing location, speed, direction of travel and name of the vessel about to ram you. Useful for exchanging greetings by name, see “Ahoy”.
- Amidships:
- Surrounded by ships
- Anchor:
- Any of a number of heavy devices, designed to convince boaters of their effectiveness. They are dropped from a vessel on the end of a rope and/or chain, and are shaped to hold said vessel securely in place until 4am or the owner and crew depart, whichever comes first.
- Anchor light:
- A white light used to rid the battery of excess charge overnight.
- Bar:
- 1. A long, low-lying hazard to marine navigation, usually composed of sand or mud. Sometimes causing long delays for boaters.
- 2. A long, flat hazard to land navigation, usually made of mahogany or some other glossy wood. Often causing long delays for boaters.
- Barometer:
- A device used by boaters to confirm the onset of bad weather. Low barometer readings coupled with heavy rain, rolling and pitching, high winds, and dark cloud cover indicate the presence of a storm.
- Battery:
- 1. A device for storing electricity while simultaneously adding weight to a boat and lightening the owner’s wallet.
- 2. A violent attack often reserved for corroded engine parts and accompanied by colorful language.
- Bearing:
- 1. The direction your boat was going when it hit the sand bar.
- 2. The part in the propeller shaft housing that burned out when you tried to free your boat by reversing at full power.
- 3. The seamanlike pose you display as Tow Boat US responds to your call.
- Berth:
- 1. A horizontal surface with total area not to exceed one half of the surface area of an average crew at rest, onto which at least one liter of some liquid
seeps during any 12-hour period and above which there are not less than 10 pounds of improperly secured objects. - 2. A small addition to the crew.
- 1. A horizontal surface with total area not to exceed one half of the surface area of an average crew at rest, onto which at least one liter of some liquid
- Bilge:
- A small, inaccessible space at the bottom of the inside of the hull containing small parts and your last 10mm socket. Strange smells and sounds often emanate from this location.
- BOAT:
- 1. Break Out Another Thousand
- 2. Bankruptcy On A Trailer
- 3. Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport
- 4. Best Of All Therapies
- Boom:
- A horizontal pole, attached to the mast, on to which a sail is fastened. Traditionally used to shift crew members into a horizontal position. See: Jibe
- Bottom paint:
- What happens when you sit on a newly painted cockpit seat.
- Bow:
- 1. The part of a boat used to ram the dock.
- 2. What the skipper does after not ramming the dock.
- Buoy:
- A floating aid to navigation. There are several types and colors, including: the green can, seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon; the red nun, seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon; and the vertically striped channel marker, seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon.
- Burdened vessel:
- The boat whose duty is to dodge the privileged vessel. See also: give way vessel.
- Calm Sea:
- A weather condition characterized by the disappearance of the wind and the last cold beverage.
- Catamaran:
- A boat design utilizing two hulls. Its chief feature being that it is twice as likely to hit something floating in the water.
- Channel:
- A narrow stretch of deep water, usually bordered by aids to navigation and grounded boats.
- Chart:
- 1. A large piece of paper that is useful in protecting cabin and cockpit surfaces from food and beverage stains.
- 2. A common decorative motif on placemats at waterfront restaurants.
- 3. A nautical map that assists the boater in determining whether he is on water or land.
- Chart Plotter:
- An electronic device that superimposes the boat’s position accurate to within nine feet on charts accurate to within 900 yards.
- Cockpit:
- A place to keep your fowl. See: Seacock
- Compass:
- A highly sensitive navigational instrument useful for noting where your guests put their keys and phones.
- Crab trap:
- A boxlike device with an attached rope and float, specifically designed to find propellers.
- Crew:
- A sailing accessory used to hold down cushions, lighten coolers and dampen sudden movements of the boom.
- Current:
- Flowing water which is sweeping you towards a hazard.
- Flowing electricity used for warming wires and blowing fuses.
- Daysailer:
- An open sailboat without amenities for seeing how far you can sail from the nearest toilet.
- Dead reckoning:
- A traditional form of navigation used for thousands of years by sailors, that involves making marks on a chart based on speed, bearing, current, day of the week and what was served for dinner.
- Dinghy:
- A small boat towed behind, stowed on deck or stolen from moorings when boats are away. It serves the purpose of shuttle, dumpster, and by sinking, provides a crude measurement of recent rainfall.
- Displacement:
- The inability to remember where you left the boat.
- Dry rot:
- Degenerative condition of wood that transforms ship timbers into a substance that has the approximate structural properties of last night’s Jell-O shots. Every boat’s got it, Boss.
- Figurehead:
- A decorative dummy sometimes found on ships, often referred to as Captain.
- Fix:
- 1. The estimated position of a boat.
- 2. The true position that the boat and its crew are in, most of the time.
- 3. Something performed on equipment with duct tape and WD-40 to get out of trouble (see definition 2).
- Flashlight:
- A tubular container used for storing dead batteries awaiting proper disposal.
- Furl:
- A futile attempt to gather, fold, and tie hundreds of square feet of stiff, wet sailcloth to the boom in a tight, trim, shipshape bundle that does not strongly resemble the body of your ex.
- Give Way Vessel
- The vessel with duty to dodge those trying to ram her.
- Guerilla:
- Gue, not Go. Huge difference.
- Hanging locker:
- A special compartment designed to grow mold and mushrooms.
- Hatch:
- An opening in the deck, with a cover designed to drip only at 3am.
- Haul-out:
- A procedure during which a boat owner’s collection of marine biology is removed from the hull, often by convicts in work release programs. Electronic gadgets, binoculars and other baubles that have accumulated over the years are also removed. As part of this operation, the boat owner’s wallet is cleaned out as well.
- Head:
- A device that cleverly replaces the simple gravity toilet, found on land, with a complicated series of pumps, valves and hoses.
- Also Composting Head, a litter box for humans.
- Heave-Ho:
- A sure sign that you ate too much Ho.
- Heeling:
- A basic physics process whereby the boat leans until wind force on the sails reach equilibrium with gravitational force on the ballast . Sometimes accompanied by first time guests screaming, “we’re going to die!”
- Helmsman:
- 1. Nut attached to the rudder through a steering mechanism.
- 2) Crew member responsible for an uncontrolled jibe.
- Jibe:
- A course change that teaches passengers to sit down.
- Keel:
- Heavily weighted, fin-like appendage on the bottom of a sailboat designed to locate submerged obstacles.
- Latitude and longitude:
- A series of invisible lines on the earth’s surface, drawn at intervals parallel to the equator (latitude) or from pole to pole (longitude) as an aid to navigation. Since they are invisible, they are of very limited use.
- Life preserver:
- A personal flotation device that keeps an individual, who has fallen off a vessel, above the water long enough to be run over during rescue.
- Marina:
- A commercial dock facility that is among the few places where piracy is still permitted. Marinas also perform valuable services including fire prevention via removal of any excess cash that may have accumulated. See: Haul-out
- Marine radio:
- A two way radio that makes it possible for sailors, even on the smallest boats, to be completely ignored by cruise ships and tankers.
- Mooring:
- A permanent anchor, often available for rent and sometimes as strong as your own anchor.
- Nun buoy:
- A religious transvestite.
- Passenger:
- A form of moveable ballast with a tendency to clean out the cooler and clog the head.
- Piloting:
- The art of getting lost in sight of land, as opposed to the distinct and far more complex science of navigation, which is used to get lost beyond the sight of land.
- Propeller:
- An underwater winch designed to wind up, at high speeds, any lines left in the water. See: crab traps.
- Pulpit:
- The place crew goes to pray while picking up a mooring.
- Race:
- Any two sailboats going in the same direction.
- Radar:
- A video game found on some boats. Players, often on night watch, try to avoid colliding with “blips” representing other boats, large cargo vessels, and supertankers. With the addition of a chart plotter there is no longer a need to look beyond the perimeter of the boat.
- Rafting:
- A social custom in which boats moor alongside one another and exchange splinters, hull paint, and pieces of brightwork.
- Ratlines:
- 1. Ropes used as a ladder for scaling the rigging.
- 2. Rows of well-behaved rodents preparing to disembark a sinking ship.
- Rhumb line:
- Archaic spelling for two or more sailors waiting for a drink. See: Bar
- Seacock:
- 1. A nautical rooster.
- 2. A male sailor’s favorite piece of equipment.
- Spinnaker:
- A wad of wet nylon usually dragged beside a sailboat boat.
- Stand on vessel:
- The boat with the right to ram the burdened vessel.
- Tack:
- 1. To change the course of a sailboat from a direction far to the right of the direction one wishes to go, to a direction far to the left of it. Or vice versa.
- 2. A sticky substance left in the cockpit by unruly children.
- Ted’s:
- An island located just to the left of St. Croix.
- Tell-tale
- A lively discussion about last night’s shoreside activities.
- Tides:
- They work for you or against you.
- Tiller:
- An uncomplicated steering device that let’s the helmsman simply push it to starboard in order to turn to port.
- Yacht:
- 1. A large recreational craft whose owner is not responsible for her upkeep.
- 2. Any boat that is for sale.
- 3. Often used by boat owners to describe their vessel to people who are unlikely to ever see it.
- Yawl:
- A boat greeting unique to the southern United States. See: Ahoy